Today sucked. Yesterday sucked, and I am sure tomorrow will suck too. In case the title miss led you, I am sick. I can hardly breath (through my nose.) and my throat feels like a pin cushion. I am suppost to go air softing with mike on monday, but I don't think I will make it, even though my father gave me some HUGE pills... I don't think they were the right pills though. I still have a sore throat, my nose is still all clogged up, and I am tired now... Don't kids get high off of sudefed?!(sp?) Well, that is what I took, and I think I took one too many of them... my stomach is starting to hurt, and I Am sneezing a lot more now... I think I am "all hopped up".

Well, I am going to go now... to sleep...or look at paintball guns... What difference does it make? Because I swear, when I look up I see the air! Whoooo, that rhymes! Swear, and air... Hehe, cool. Chair, hair, dare, fair, care, pair, and bear& nbsp;all rhyme too!!!! God I'm tired.

Ok, yesterday at school I was eating lunch, like a normal person I might add. Any who, I found a pop can on the ground about 3 feet from me. So, being the good samariten (sp?) I am, I went to pick it up. Then I found myself asking, "Humm, I wonder if I can rip this in half?"

...It turns out I can rip it in half... But, when I ripped it in half I noticed that I had cut my finger, it didn't hurt, so I let it be. About 20 seconds later I noticed it had started to bleed, I let it be. Then about 10 seconds later I noticed that it hadn't stopped bleeding and blood was dripping off of my hand onto the ground. So I walked over to the teacher and asked for a band-aid. She then rushed me to the health office and got the nurse, by now blood was all over my pants and on the floor, but it didn't hurt. The nurse then instructed me to wash it off and apply pressure with a towel. After about 10 minutes of appling pressure we put a band-aid on it. Then I sat down for about an hour.

After sitting down for what seemed like eternity I called my mother. We decided it was best for her to pick me up and take me to my doctor and see if I needed stiches. It turns out that I didn't need any stiches...just two shots. Fun... I was also told that I should not bend my finger, it might open the cut again. And we wouldn't want that, now would we?

Long story short; Jesus doesn't like it when someone is threatening his position as nicest man.

I just had an awful time watching T.V... No words can tell what happened... I think only this song can explaine what hapened...

Here we are
Dear old friends
You and i drunk again
laughs have been had
tears have been shed
maybe the whisky has gone to my head
but if i were gay
i would give you my heart
and if i were gay
you'd be my work of art
and if i were gay
we would swim in romance
but im not gay
so get your hand out of my pants

its not that i dont care
i do
i just dont see myself in you
another time another scene
i'd be right behind you if you know what i mean
coz if i were gay
i would give soul
and if i were gay
i would give you my whole... being
and if i were gay
we would tear down the walls
But I'm Not gay
so wont you stop cupping my Ba... Hand


we've never hugged
we've never kissed
i've never been intimate with your fist
you have opened brand new doors
get over here and drop ... your ... Drawers

I just heard this guy on Comedy Centrel and though, "Man, I need to post that song..." So Since I cant play it, here are the lyrics!

When I was,
A boy of ten
I had a very best friend

Fred was kind
with good intent
but just a little different

Oooh, Special Fred
mama dropped him on his head
now he's not so bright instead
he's a little bit special
just a little bit

We'd play tag
and he'd get hurt
I'd play a soldier
he'd eat dirt

I liked math,
and spelling bees
fred liked talking to a tree

ooh special Fred
Mama dropped him on his head
now she keeps him in the shed
cuz he's a little bit special
just a little bit

I ran track,
hung out at malls
fred ran headfirst
into walls

I had girls
and lots of clothes
fred had names
for all his toes

ooh special fred
mama dropped him on his head
now he thinks
he's a piece of bread
cuz he's a little bit special
just a little bit

one day, when talking to special fred,
he grabbed a brick and he swung at my head
and as he laughed at me
that's when I knew
special fred just made
me special toooo!

Now I laugh as I count bugs
I give strangers great big hugs
next to me, fred is fine
yeah, he's a fuckin Einstein
ooh special fred,
now we're not right in the head
now we're not so bright instead
we're a little bit special
just a little bit special
that fucker fred made me special
just a little bit

If you want to hear the song search "stephen lynch" in the media guide in media player.

It was just 4 days ago in my home ec. class that my teacher (Mrs. Raome) Decided that she didnt like me! I could tell she dosent like me from the looks and things she says to me. She usually gives me the evil eye and dosent say anything to me when I walk in the class! FREAKY! I think she's out to get me! :shock:

Anywho... I was in home ec. acting like normal. (talking loudly and dancing...) Today was the day we were going to make omelets! yay...eggs... :oops: I was cooking an omelet (quite well I might add!) and my teacher said it was done, (when it was clearly not) I tried to explain that I really didn't think it was done. She told me that it was done once more and walked away... I took her word for it and placed it on a plate.

When were were eating the omelets I took mine and ate it... What a surprise it tasted like...eggs... :cry: When we were cleaning I had some commit and said "I wonder what this stuff would taste like?" My friend replied "I think that it is poisonis... so dont eat it!" I relaly didn't think (at the time) that it was poisonis so I said "fine!"  And I put some on my finger tip and ate it! It tasted bad...like it smells! For the next fwe hours I noticed a slight burning in my chest, but nothing un...natural...

The next day I was sick, which sucked because I couldn't go to my paintball game... I BLAME THE TEACHER! So, long story short, Kids out there, dont trust your Home ec. teachers! or your spelling teachers!  

Wow, just wow... I home from the "Incredibles" on Sunday and Tblog was down. I waited and waited about 3 hours constantly checking if tblog was up and I only found disapointment and eventualy even turned away from tblog to the "dark" side! :? So I made my fist post on Blogger.com and instantly found it sucky and rather...how do you americans say... crappy. After about 5 more hours constatly checking tblog I gave up and went to bed... at 4 p.m... I woke up at 6 and checked tblog again and got rather pissed off. I watched T.V. but there was nothing on but SpongeBob, one of my favorite shows.

I continued to watch this spongy fellow and his crazy ways... Apperently "F is for friends who do stuff together, U is You and me!!!, and N is for Anywere and anytime at all... here in the deep blue sea!" After spongeybob I went to sleep again, this time for the last time. I had a dream about sponebob, he and I were, you know... Drinking tea with old British people around the time of the revelutionary war. They were in red coats and they didn't seem to like me very much and kept calling me Mr. Paine, and were talking about some Common sense or something... Anywho, here concludes my story of a spongy fellow and begins a new tale, one where I review the movie, "The Incredibles".

The Incredibles was an excelent movie for the whole family to see! It has Excelent graphics, (*cough* halo 2 is better *cough*) for a computer animated movie. Much better then its predesesors (Sp?) "Toy Story, Toy story 2, or A Bug's Life." "The Incredibles" Mixes humor, excitment, and drama (?) all into a movie for little children, although still enjoyed buy the older people. I remember a scene when my dad just started to crack up in the middle of the movie! It was something about capes... But, I think there is nothing else to say about this movie other then, It's a good movie and you should go see it! Unless your one of those people who thinks that your too cool for a stupid disney movie! :?

So, all in all, dont take free samples from OLD LADIES! No offense to the old ladies out there...

Today I am off to see the new disney movie "The Incredibles". After I get home I will give you all a review on the movie, which I am sure has been done at least 14 times... :cry: But my review will be better, because I dont know how to pell things!

until then
~Jake

I just got the 500 greatest songs edition on the "rolling stone" so I thought I might share it with you all! Here we go!!!

1. Like a rolling Stone, Bob Dylan


2. (I can't get no) Statisfaction, The rolling stones


3. Imagine, john lennon


4. What's going on, Marvin Gaye


5. Respect, Aretha Franklin


6. Good Vibrations, The beach Boys


7. Johnny B. Goode, Chuck Berry


8. Hey Jude, the beatles


9. Smells like teen spirit, Nirvana (!)


10. What's I say, ray Charles


11. My generation, the who


12. A change is gonna come, Sam cookie


13. Yesterday, The beatles


14. Blowin' in the Wind, Bob dylan


15. London calling, the clash


16. I want to hold your hand, The beatles


17. Purple haze, The jimi hendrix experience


18. Maybellene, chuck Berry


19. hound dog, elvis presley


20. Let it be, the beatles


21. born to to run, bruse springsteen


22. be my baby, The Ronettes


23. in my life, the beatles


24. people get ready, the impressions


25. God only knows, the beach boys


26. A day in the life, the beatles


27. Layla, Derek and the dominos


28. (sittin' on) the deck of the bay, otis redding


29. Help!, The beatles


30. I walk the line, johnny cash


31. Stairway to Heaven, led zeppelin (!)


32. Sympathy for the devil, the rolling stones


33. River deep-mountain high, Ike and tina turner


34. You've lost that lovin' feelin', The righteous brothers


35. light my fire, the doors


36. one, u2


37. no women, no cry, Bob marley and the wailers


38. gimme shelter, the rolling stones


39. that'll be the day, buddy holly and the crickets


40. dancing in the street, martha and the Vadellas


41. The weight, The band


42. waterloo sunset, the kinks


43. tutti-frutti, little richard


44. Georgia on my mind, ray charles


45. Heartbreak hotel, Elvis presley


46. Heroes, David Bowie


47. Bridge over troubled water, simon and garfunkel


48. all along the watchtower, the jimi hendrix experience


49. Hotel California, the eagles


50. The tracks of my tears, Smokey Robinson and the miracles

I will add more songs later, but now my back hurts so later people!

-jake

I am sure that you all can see the little green duck on the side of my blog. He is johnny, my very sickly friend. I met johnny one day on the subway, I also met alice, but that is a different story! Johnny jumps when you punch, (Click) him so try to "punch" him often! :twisted:

Today was like any other day, I woke up at 10:34 and took a shower. I watched T.V., I ate lunch, nothing out of the ordinary. But when I went to dinner, that is when I discovered that the government is trying to kill us!!

We went to the Olive garden ( http://www.olivegarden.com&nb...;) but they told us there was a 45 min. wait, a foolish thing to do! So we went over to the Red Robbins across the street. We sat down and the waitress came to our table and we ordered, like normal. :roll:

When the food got to our table my step-mom sue realized there was something wrong with her "GARDENBURGER", thats right, there were onions on it. Sue decided that she could brave through the battle field that was onions and she took a bite out of it and got this distortited face, like I just stabbed her foot with a rusty pipe. She set her hamburger down and said "This isn't a gardenburger..." And it's true! She ate real meat for the first time in 27 years! 

The waitress then brought her another hamburger, er, gardenburger. She was fine after that, besides the fact that she couldnt eat her gardenburger because she was thinking of the meat.About 3 minutes into the meal my dad (who is also a vegitarion) took a bite of his gardenburger and ate a peice of bacon, he didn't freak out like sue though, (I think he secretly likes meat) he just said, "eww, I got some bacon!" Then he gave the rest to lucky me! About 20 more minutes into the very, meaty dinner my sister FINALLY discovers that there is meat in her B.L.T.! Apperently she thought that the B stood for bun, not bacon... She then gave the bacon to me! I think that God loves me or something!

But no, God doesn't love me! I thought about this very hard on the way home, and came to a very, interesting conclusion! You see, by feeding non-meat families meat the government plans to get them hooked on meat. After they are hooked and start stealing money for just that last honey roasted ham, they will make their move! The government will start to put drugs in the meat, preferebly speed. After the families have consumed enough of this "meat", they will start opening more sweat shops. Then they will take all of the meat away and tell us that if we all work in the nike ( www.nike.com ) sweat shops then they will give us more meat. After nike is bigger then microsoft ( www.microsoft.com ) then they will kill us all and nike will turn into a new society called the nikkies. The nikkies will be much like the City-state Sparta. They will kill all of the babys that are fat, or can not fight well. They will get into wars with china and soon after WW23 fall to the hands of a VERY angry Bill Gates and army of computer nerds!

From this you can infer that meat isnt too healthy if you eat it in large quantities. So please people, unless you want to die at the hands of nike then I suggest not eating 5 hamburgers a day! Then again, if you hate nike and want then to die even at the cost of your and millions of other's lives then eat meat! Eat lots of meat! But you wont be around to enjoy the pure...enjoyment... of seeing nike fall to the hands of someone who didn't get laid until he made his first billion.

Just my 27 cents.
-Jake :?

Yesterday was the greenday concert at the rose garden, and yes I took mike... The night started when mike came over to my house like right when I got back from school, I went outside and started cursing at the neighbor dog and sprayed it with the hose. I then threw my shoe that I found outside at the fence to find dog crap on my hand... (it was on the shoe) So I needed to get inside, like fast, before the gulls come! Mike locked me out... :evil: I ran around to the front door and went in that way, I cleaned my hand and saw mike on my xbox playing HALO 2 on xbox live. So of course I asked him to sword fight me (I have a lot fo knives and swords in my room) and he was all scared of me just because I have a sword in my hand! Mike played halo 2 with some guy called "GO JOE" *cough* loser *cough* but, knowing mike, joe schooled him, in mike's blog he says "murder", that is what happened in the game, he was murdered! Game stats: http://bungie.net/Stats/GameStats.aspx?gameID=7721533&" title="http://bungie.net/Stats/GameStats.aspx?gameID=7721533&" target="_blank"http://bungie.net/Stats/GameS...;player=dgl%20CapnFace  He was under my name, so he was Dgl CapnFace. After one game my mom got home, and we drove downtown!
It took us an hour to get downtown, we drove to RED ROBBINS! At red robbins I have the 5 alarm burger and mike had some weird honey mustard bacon cheese meat sandwhich... He didnt eat it all so he rapped it in napkins and shoved it in his coat... I dont know why he didnt just get a box...Anyway... I drank 3 pops and 1 water and mike drank 1 pop...how sad... after dinner we went to the concert, on our way to *cough* our floor seats. When we were entering the rose garden they waved down mike and found the hamburger in his coat... They made him throw it away... we saw maria, I remember her from second grade... Of course she had no idea who I was, but she remembered mike. My sister bought a shirt and her friend bought a shirt. I think it is safe to say this was turning out to be just like anyother concert... But then I got onto the floor! :!:
We walked down 3 flights of stairs into a lobby with out own personal bathrooms! (greenday loves their fans!) We walked through a little tunnle type thing under some seats to the floor. when we got to the floor I saw some things I thought I would never see until I was at least 25.

1) a 40-year old woman in punk rock clothes...ew...
2) a VERY old peron...standing right there next to me...I bet people thought that my grandma took me to the concert or something...
3)Lastly...a GIANT flag that said "sugarcolt"! They were the first act, opening for the people opening for greenday! I couldnt wait! So I peed my pants. :x
The lights were pretty dim as it was but when they completely turned off, I thought that terrerists had bombed us...SO I screamed and ran in circles.It turned out that surgarcolt was just entering the stage, they were pretty good, I like that bouncing off the walls song... The lights turned back to the normal dimmed setting. I couldnt hear anything out of my right ear, Mike and I were about 10 feet, at the most, away from the stage!
Mike and I talked a little then the lights went off again! This time I freaked out! But I knew that we were not bombed by tererists, I knew even they would not like what was next... Worse then a bomb, but just as destructive and hated by society... That's right...New Found Glory! They were pretty ok, but the singer...omg... you guys know alvin the chipmonk?! Yea, he was like alvin's twin! Except, big and had tatoos... They made my stamach hurt so I could hardly stand...Once they were over, I prayed eto god and he struck them down with lightning... Even God hates them! After what seemed like 10 min. The lights went dark, adn 4 flags raised with a hand holding that grenade. "OMG THE CLASH IS ON STAGE!" But, I was wrong... IT WAS A BUNNY RABBIT WITH A BEER!!! (I overcame my urge to kill him..) Oh my gosh, that made me laugh so hard! He started to drink the beer and everyone started chanting "CHUG CHUG CHUG!" It was so great! Then gre enday came on! They were great! Opened with American idiot and closed with a spraying down of confeti(sp?) Near the middle Billy joe was at out end of the floor and he decided that he was going to pull down his pants...So he mooned us all with his pasty butt... I think it was glow in the dark! Then I tried on my sister's shirt that she had bought earlier, it was very sexy on me... At the end Billy joe said something that I have been waiting to hear for a very long time, (sorry if this ofends anyone...I know someone will find something wrong with it...) Billy joe said, "SOMEONE BRING ME GOERGE FUCKIN BUSHE'S HEAD RIGHT NOW! AND EVERYONE DONT LET THOSE FAT WHITE MEN IN OFFICE RIGHT NOW RUIN YOUR FUTURE!" Something like that... The Bush's head part was pretty funny. People cheered alot when he said that, I hope it was because they agree with him and not because it is greenday on stage. That would be sad if they just cheered because it was greenday saying that... I cheered! Greenday excited the stage, and Mike and I waited for my sister and her friend in OUR OWN LOBBY... That took a while. I found my mom and we drove mike home, we talked about the concert and everything that happened today, mike getting waved down and getting told to throw away his sandwhich, billy joe mooning us with his pasty butt... Good times, good times! We dropped mike off at his house and we dropped my sister's friend off at her house. Then I got home and it was 12:03 so I went to bed. I didnt do any homework!!!! :)

Halo 2 came out on Nov. 9th, sorry I havent written anything in this for a while. (like anyone cares) But I have been playing Halo 2 on xbox live! My name is Dgl CapnFace. If any of you have halo 2 on xbox live feel free to give me your name so that I can play you! Here are my stats: http://bungie.net/Stats/PlayerStats.aspx?player=dgl" title="http://bungie.net/Stats/PlayerStats.aspx?player=dgl" target="_blank"http://bungie.net/Stats/Playe...%20CapnFace

That icon was mike's idea, he made my sparten look like a spanish pimp...

I can't play until tuesday, unfortunitly, I am at my dad's house, there is no Xbox over here, only a constant use of commas,

Everyone post their names and links to their stats so I can play them!

Wow, we were suppost to practice today at mike's house. But, I am doing yard work all day and mike said..."no"... So, I think it is pretty obvious that we will get out asses kiced next time... On thursday, at portland paintball, at 6... :arrow:  ANYWAYS...today has been a horrible day! I get up and find out that it is like 8 in the morning! So, I got back to bed. Then my dad wakes me up at like 9 JUST TO TELL ME that I have to do yard work with him all day! I already had paintball practice today, but he told me if we finished it early I could still go...  :? So... I went over to cody's house only to find BIll clinton on his roof with a sniper rifle. So, I did the right thing and I threw rocks at him. Then Carmen electra came and they went off to Paris... I went inside cody's house, but was not surprised what I saw. It was....IT WAS... cody's dog humping a stuffed monkey! I wasnt surprised to see it, she always does it... so I let her "get it on" while I continued to look for the only person in the world without a head, and still living, (he still ate too...) cody. I went to his room and found that OMG ITS NOT HIS ROOM ANYMORE!!!!!!!! :x So I Went to the "big screen room" (room with a big ass TV.) And I found him... On the computer..."sinning"... THATS RIGHT! He was...oh my god, I dont even think I can say it... Well he was, he was... lets just say, Killing the priest with his Kodo beast! THATS RIGHT, he was playing warcraft 3! So I hit him on the head, and got the gremlins in my pants to eat him. He was never the same after they crapped him out. He never played warcrap again! Well I guess it is safe to say I saved the day at cody's house! (thanks doctor bob!!) But Bill, he was in a airplane with carmen electra! man I was pissed! so what I did next I am sure you will all find offensive and racist and a little... Duragitory towards toasters.... But, what I did was... Flew to paris IN COACH! :(  (sorry toasters!) But I flew there and I searched the city for Mister bill and his little HOT friend Carmen... Where in the world was carmen and bill?! I couldnt find them at all! So I looked in a room with a sign that read, "I swear I am not sleeping with Carmen electra..." And sure enough it was a Badger in there playing cards with cody... Sigh... the sign was right... There were not people sleeping with Carmen in here. So I went on. I Went to the empire state building and found them bungie jumping off of the building. I saved their lives and they all gave me lots of money! *cough* so should you *cough* After I saved their lives *not for the first time if I might add* They took me to Austrilia! Damn kangaroos... I blame all of those stupid kangaroos for what happened to my hair! Since I was fancinated by them the govener decided to take them away! For their saftey or some crap like that! It was then that I decided to make the toasters feel better (after making them feel bad earlier) So I took a shower with one... :shock: I am now going to have my crazy hair for...like...ever... After my...fun...shower I decided to go outside and skate! Yay! I am not a newb at skating!!111!!123#!!!1one !!1shift! I am 1337! 1337 n3wb, thats what I am! I practiced my primos and some more easy stuff like axle stalls and nose stalls. I fell a lot... I think I fell on my head a little too much... :lol: Now I have a blister on my thumb and a head with 12 brain cells in it, more then enough to get me through the week. Well after skating I decided to go over to mike's (deyellowsnow) house . He is busy cleaing his deck, so it looks as though I can't play paintball today... even though I finished my yard work earily. Thats too bad, wait...WAIT! I have an idea! :idea: BILL AND CARMEN! I will play with them! I went to bills secret bomb shelter, (under the Buger King on TV highway) I talked to Bill and Carmen and I got them to play paintball with me! After this game I truly think that I am ready for our next game! And grammar camp... :? 

-Jake

Hi, I Am Jake! thats all you need to know about me.... If you knew anymore then you would want to kill me...

Ok since I have a new blog, I think there are some key factors that you should know about me to make me happy, which you will always want to do!

1. I like money, I have none, but I like it... I think...

2. Skateboarding, I like to skate,  and yes, I am better then you! :shock:

3. paintball, I am on a paintball team with mike, and adrian, and yes, I am still better then you... But not adrain...or mike... :cry:

4. I like Halo 2 and WoW, SO if you would get those for me then I wont have to SUE YOUR ASS FOR 450,243,000,000.43$

5. if you ever see a person with a gun in a goodwill, just rememer, its your freindly neighborhood RABBIT SLAYER, helping the poor...

6. if you talk to me then you will find that I have a mild case of down syndrome and spell like an ant on the cold of mid winter's eve...?

7. Oh, and, bush sucks, but dont talk to me about it, I dont like to get onto peoples' bad sides on all of this, politics...

:idea: I HAVE AN IDEA!

Ok everyone give me lots fo these Tbucks or, Tpoints or whatever they are called these days. Because it is a big accomplishment for me to find out how to use this whole, internet thing... In my day we had jesus to talk to... NOT OUR FRIENDS! In my day we didnt have friends! Well I didnt... :?:

Oh and with the paintball games, I will keep you one strange lonely guy who reads my blog up to date on all of our paintball activities. Like yesterday we had our first game! All you need to know... We were raped, we lost 1- 10... Oh and out team name is Death By idiots... We lost to chosen black... Good bye you strange man who kinda scares me now after I think about you a little more... :oops: